I don't want to be like everyone else. So when things I do start becoming mainstream...I lose interest. Even when being like everyone else is rational...it repels me.

I always have to ask "why?" And no, you will never really catch me questioning authority outright. In fact, in most cases, I respect authority. But when it comes to morally questionable actions, I will question you to no end, no matter who you are.

I've realized my identity and how identify is unsettling to people who've stuck by what they have identified with their entire lives - whether that be religion, race, ethnicity, culture. art, etc. I can never truly be one thing, and the moment I start to heavily identify with a culture, I realized I was never truly fully a part of it to begin with, because I am too many other things. And so I float. But I am free.

At the same time I acknowledge that I was born into certain circumstances, and have been heavily influenced by my upbringing and environment. As I have gotten older I've taken things into my own hands. I have created the path I have chosen and I shall continue to forge this path how I see most valuable. My past is of the utmost importance, because it shapes my outlook. But it does not dictate my future.

Had a terrible nightmare last night in which I was disowned by my family.

Which brings up a question to myself - if something were to happen, would I be able to survive on my own?

Sometimes, when I don't feel like going out, socializing, or doing anything, a good cat video really hits the spot.

I was enchanted by Turkey's rich and diverse culture, deep and dynamic history, and most of all, by its beautiful, quirky, hilarious cats.

Patience and hard work. I must work on both.

Thoughts of the morning:

• I wish to be a more pleasant person to be around
• I hope not to be forgotten by those whom I care for
• I am used to pushing myself but sometimes I wish people would push me harder
• I don't know.

Respect

I wonder what kind of intention people have when they choose to disrespect a person in their face, whether it be in the form of insult, down-talking, or bullying. What exactly do they want to gain from that interaction? Are they even thinking?

We all should really think about what we do before we do it. Just sayin.

I got the sweetest message from a most mysterious rabbit today. My life is blessed to have such a friend.

Abundant, fruitful, and full of laughter is what life is like when we spend time together. I am glad for the meaningful times we continue to have, whether in person or online. For me to know someone like you is such a blessing. I look forward to when we can hang out again.